For the past year or so, I’ve been really seeking a deeper understanding of the Holy Spirit.  Intellectually, I’m sure I could accurately describe the person of the Holy Spirit from a biblical perspective.  I am also quite aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life.  There can be no other explanation for the transforming work that the Lord has done and continues to do in my life.  I am a changed person because of the presence of the Holy Spirit.  I also know that I cannot possibly understand the true meaning of the scriptures without assistance from the Holy Spirit.  What I’m looking for, I suppose, is more of an experience of the power of the Holy Spirit.  I want more of a relationship with the person of God that has chosen to dwell within me.

As I embark on this voyage into ministry, I realize that I am going to have to rely solely on the power of the Holy Spirit to do anything effectively.  I am only beginning to understand the gravity of that realization, though.  It means that everything I’m good at, all of the “gifts” that the Lord has given me, they’re nothing compared to the power that’s necessary for successful ministry.  Look at the apostles… they were fumbling fools at the feet of Jesus, and yet when they were filled with the Holy Spirit on Pentecost, they went on to perform “greater works” (John 14:12).

I want the kind of power that the apostles were given to do ministry.  I can imagine that only by the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit will I be able to truly be the hands and feet of Christ on earth.  I’m aware that I’ve jumped into murky waters here.  I know that the “cessationist” versus “continuationist” debate rages on, and that both sides claim biblical support for their positions. I’ve learned that the biblical debate centers on 1 Corinthians 13:8-12 and Ephesians 2:20, and with my limited understanding of exegesis, I tend towards the continuationist side.  I’m quite aware that I’m heading to a school that’s quite firmly entrenched in the strong cessationist perspective.  I’ll also be facing opposition for my belief on the ordination of women, though that’s a whole other topic for discussion.  I think that the bottom line is that I’m a bit more open minded on the intentions and methods that the Lord uses.  While I agree with the bulk of Reformed theology in general, and I subscribe to the principle of Sola Scriptura, I feel that this understanding must also accompany an experiential relationship with the Lord that has captured my heart.

Because I don’t currently possess any of the miraculous gifts of the Spirit, it might be easy for me to believe that those gifts did indeed pass away at the end of the apostolic age.  After all, when I was baptized as a believer a few years ago, I also then received the Holy Spirit.  I do believe that I received some specific spiritual gifts right then, notably faith and teaching (and maybe others).  I don’t seem to have received any of the gifts of supernatural power, though.  So, should I conclude that because of my personal experience, I ought to dismiss the possibility of the continuation of the gifts of power entirely?

The implications of such a stance would be huge for me.  First and foremost, I would have to believe that some of my trusted friends who claim to possess some of the miraculous gifts, most notably speaking in tongues, are either delusional or deceptive.  I’d have a hard time making that conclusion, especially when those friends have devoted their lives to spreading the gospel and the ministry of the church.  They work in Jesus’ name.  They also seem to be the folks that earnestly rely most heavily on prayer and seek the Lord’s guidance in their daily walks.  Am I to conclude that some of the biggest prayer warriors I know are frauds?  I cannot.

Thus, my search for the power of the Holy Spirit continues.  I’m curious to learn what some trusted scholars have discovered, particularly Sam Storms, Wayne Grudem, and Jack Deere.  I plan to seek the counsel of some of those trusted friends and well as doing my due diligence academically.  I will continue to pray for the Lord to reveal to me His true intentions for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life and how he wishes for me to utilize the gifts he’s given me.  Finally, I thank the Lord for what appears to be answers to some of the prayers that I’ve been praying on this matter.  He’s led me to some wise counsel and he’s opened my eyes to some real opportunities for growth.  Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness.