Amidst the complexity life as of late, I have been a bit preoccupied with the thought of leaving for seminary next year.  I have a variety of mixed feelings on the matter.  It seems that my heart and mind are both in states of conflict.

Let’s start with the mind.  On one hand, logic tells me that it makes no sense to remove myself from my current ministry involvement, which has seriously ramped up in the past four months.  I’ve gotten heavily involved in some really exciting areas where I see God at work, and I’d like to be doing more of that and not less.  On the other hand, I know that I have a lot to learn to be properly equipped for pastoral ministry.  Since our local churches are not particularly prepared to develop a pastoral candidate, I recognize benefit/need for seminary.  I also know that RTS is a wonderful, renowned, and reformed school, and that there’s really no place I could go to be better equipped.

Now to the heart, which I see as at least equally important to the mind.  My heart aches for leaving my friends and family behind in Cleveland.  I am going to miss them dearly, especially those with whom I have been serving the Lord.  They have taught me so much, and I love them deeply.  My heart aches for my wife because she has to face those very same heartbreaks.  We have already begun grieving, as have our closest friends.  Our hearts are conflicted, though, because we are also extremely excited to discover what the Lord has in store for us in North Carolina and beyond.  We are very excited to move, to get the necessary training, and to live in the state that we’ve loved for over 10 years.

Ultimately, I must simply remind myself to trust in the Lord.  He’s in control.  He knows where we’re headed, both short-term and long-term.  In the moment, it’s hard to see the big picture, but as we step back and try to look at things through God’s eyes, the path seems to get clearer.  I must stay attentive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and be constant in prayer.  Whatever the destination, the one thing that’s certain is that we’re in for a ride!