I read a good little book recently that helped me put some things into perspective.  It didn’t particularly tell me anything that I didn’t already know.   Rather, it sort of reinforced what I had already been thinking on the matter.  I appreciate the advice I had gotten to read the book (thanks Dave for letting me borrow it).

So what’s this about?  It’s certainly a provocative title, but it can’t imply that I intend to cheat on something, right?  Well, the way the book puts it, something or someone is always going to get cheated in our busy lives, and it’s just a matter of who or what.  For me, the issue is time management.  I have a lot on my plate and not enough time to handle it all.  That means that I have to prioritize and cut things short or cut them out entirely.

I have been giving this a lot of thought recently, and I’ve decided on a few particular principles that have become non-negotiable.  First, I need some time for personal devotions.  Simply put, I need to hang out with God.  That means prayer, scripture, time for reflection, and possibly some other edifying books.  Firmly in second place needs to be my family.  Dinner time is essential.  Bed time with the kids super quality time.  Relaxing time with my wife at night is wonderful.  After this, things tend to get foggier.

I thought it’d be fun for me to digitize my current “to do” list, partially to help me sort it out, partially for future reference, and partially for fun.  Here goes, in no particular order…

• Prepare my house to hit the market in a month
• Complete dialogue paper for Apologetics course
• Study for and take final exam for Apologetics course
• Hire a new employee for my company (essentially my replacement – it’s complicated)
• Train said employee
• Grow my business and maintain what we’ve got
• Find a new church home in Charlotte
• Apply for seminary scholarship
• Look for other sources of financial assistance in anticipation of our “seminary adventure”
• Come “under care” of my session and my presbytery
• Continue developing the Men’s Discipleship program at church
• Disciple as many people as possible before we leave, especially the relationships that are already developing
• Have as much quality time as possible with my extended family before we leave
• Write a sermon to be preached hopefully this summer before we leave
• Write research paper for Church History II course
• Study for and take final exam for Church History II course
• Read as much of my book backlog as possible
• Lose some weight and get in shape
• Maintain my low stress level through all of the above

As I examine this list, it strikes me as absurd!  Seriously, how am I going to get all of this done in the next few months?  I think I’m going to have to cheat.  The question is where do I cheat… I expect the Holy Spirit will guide me to the answer, and it’ll be fun to see how He helps me work it out.

If you know me very well, you’ve probably heard that I just got back from the first on-campus course of my seminary experience.  Let me just say, it was fantastic!  I met a bunch of wonderful, new people for starters.  For an extrovert like me, that is particularly exciting.  I was also quite intrigued by the classroom material.  Top that off with my meetings with professors and time outside of class discussing ministry and theology with other students, and it was one heck of  an experience.  The icing on the cake was the weather in Charlotte, where it was in the 60’s for most of the week (while being in the 30’s in Cleveland).

The topic for my class was “Apologetics”, which may be defined as a reasoned defense of the faith.  The apostle Peter made a case for apologetics when he said to “always be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).

All of us Christians have had to defend the faith at one time or another.  This would include defending against or trying to persuade a non-believer of the hope that is in you (the gospel).  It could also address any doubts that we face as believers.  Thus, apologetics is not just for theologians that want to “argue” with atheists, but it’s an integral part of evangelism on par with preaching.  Also, I should  make it clear that apologetics does not involve “apologizing”, as if we’re sorry for our Christian beliefs.  Quite the contrary!

There are essentially two components to my grade in the apologetics course.  The first, of course, is an exam… no surprise there.  The other major component is a “dialogue paper” in which I’ll have to present a real or fictitious interaction with a skeptic (non-believers or skeptical believers are equally good).  For this reason, I invite any of you that have questions, concerns, or doubts about the Christian God to share them here as comments on my blog.  I’d be more than happy to answer your questions, and it might just help me out for my course grade!

I’m starting to get pretty excited.  In less than two weeks, I’ll be in Charlotte taking my first on-campus seminary class.  Yeah, I’ve already got one class under my belt and I’m half-way through another (both are history classes), but those are both online lecture classes.  This one will be in an actual classroom with an actual professor and other students present.  In other words, I don’t expect it to be anything like my online classes.  The class itself is a week-long intensive on Apologetics (defending the faith).  It’ll be lectures Monday through Friday, and then I go home to write a paper and take a final exam.  I can’t wait to get started!

I haven’t been in a college classroom in nearly 10 years, so that’s exciting.  I loved college, but this is different.  This is seminary.  I can’t wait to meet the other students and see what they’re like.  Some of them are probably seniors, which means that they may be pastors at this time next year.  That’s so cool.  It’s also intimidating… what will they think of me?  I know it’s silly to think that way, but it’s hard not to.  I can’t wait to participate in the class discussion, and I hope I don’t make an idiot of myself!  I can’t imagine I will, but do tend to open my mouth quickly and say things before I think them through completely.

I’m not really worried or nervous.  I guess I’m just full of anticipation for a situation that’s a complete mystery to me.  I’m thankful for my pastor who basically told me to go and enjoy myself and learn at the feet of Jesus.  That’s exactly what I’d like to do.  And soon!

Amidst the complexity life as of late, I have been a bit preoccupied with the thought of leaving for seminary next year.  I have a variety of mixed feelings on the matter.  It seems that my heart and mind are both in states of conflict.

Let’s start with the mind.  On one hand, logic tells me that it makes no sense to remove myself from my current ministry involvement, which has seriously ramped up in the past four months.  I’ve gotten heavily involved in some really exciting areas where I see God at work, and I’d like to be doing more of that and not less.  On the other hand, I know that I have a lot to learn to be properly equipped for pastoral ministry.  Since our local churches are not particularly prepared to develop a pastoral candidate, I recognize benefit/need for seminary.  I also know that RTS is a wonderful, renowned, and reformed school, and that there’s really no place I could go to be better equipped.

Now to the heart, which I see as at least equally important to the mind.  My heart aches for leaving my friends and family behind in Cleveland.  I am going to miss them dearly, especially those with whom I have been serving the Lord.  They have taught me so much, and I love them deeply.  My heart aches for my wife because she has to face those very same heartbreaks.  We have already begun grieving, as have our closest friends.  Our hearts are conflicted, though, because we are also extremely excited to discover what the Lord has in store for us in North Carolina and beyond.  We are very excited to move, to get the necessary training, and to live in the state that we’ve loved for over 10 years.

Ultimately, I must simply remind myself to trust in the Lord.  He’s in control.  He knows where we’re headed, both short-term and long-term.  In the moment, it’s hard to see the big picture, but as we step back and try to look at things through God’s eyes, the path seems to get clearer.  I must stay attentive to the promptings of the Holy Spirit and be constant in prayer.  Whatever the destination, the one thing that’s certain is that we’re in for a ride!

I’m not sure what sort of readership I have on this blog, but I thought I’d document this link to an audio recording of my testimony given to a group of twenty-somethings last week in case anyone is interested.  It’s a bit personal, but at this point, I guess I need to get past the need to be private.  Let’s face it… pastor’s lives are lived in the public eye.

Anyway, this is a story of where I’ve seen God at work in my life.  I shared particular areas of sin in my life, my growing understanding of a need for a savior, and the transformation that ensued after I truly met Jesus.

Here’s the link: Generation Talk 12/10/09